The last few days of the challenge got a little hectic, to say the least. Filming the Tonergy workout DVDs consumed my life! We were doing 2-a-days everyday in an effort to finish filming on time. We even tried a 3-a-day. It resulted with one of us Tonergy trainers throwing up midway through the third video. No bueno!
Filming was extremely hard on my body. I felt as though I had pushed my body to it's absolute limit. I had no energy, I was exhausted, and I was just over all of it! I went to lunch with Nikki and Tamara and told them how I was feeling. This was a couple of days after my last post, where I told you guys all about athlete's on Paleo, and how sometimes modifications to the diet need to be made. I needed a modification. I needed carbs. I could feel it. I should have been getting more carbs from vegetables, but I wasn't, simply because, well, I don't really like vegetables all that much! (More on the lesson learned from this tomorrow!) Also, the rigorous filming schedule made it impossible to find time to make anything. It's hard to eat Paleo when you can't prepare any meals!
Sooo.....I ate bread. We went to Great Harvest for lunch, and it was amazing!!! I chose to eat the California Cobb sandwich on Dakota Bread, 86 the Blue Cheese dressing. I was proud of myself! Yes, I was eating gluten, but I left the dairy off, and Dakota bread is probably the healthiest bread they have. I felt better. So, so much better! It was just what I needed!
|Look at how delicious this looks!|
|Those ingredients look rather healthy to me!|
While I knew eating bread wasn't the worst thing in the world, and that it was exactly what I needed, I still felt guilty about it. I had made it so close to the end...after all, this was like what, day 26? 27? So close! I felt like I had given up. I felt like a failure. I know, I shouldn't have felt that way, but I did. I was determined that, even though I was going to be eating carbs for the sake of getting through filming, I was going to keep it healthy! But, as usually happens when you are feeling guilty for a misstep in your diet, you take more missteps.
Filming that night was a little rough. It had been raining on and off all day, and it carried into the night. This wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that we were filming in a metal warehouse, and you could hear the rain. We tried in vain to film as much as we could during the off times, but it just wasn't working. So we decided to break for dinner while we waited out the rain. They decided to get pizza. And I decided to eat it. After all, I had already broken the no grain/gluten rule, right? Way to go Amanda, way to go.
So yeah, the pizza thing happened. Oops. And let's not talk about the chocolate chip cookies... I made them for the film crew to eat. But how do you make cookies and not eat one? Or twenty? So horrible! I felt so guilty! I let you, my readers down, and I let myself down. I had made it so far, and threw it all away in the end. Truthfully, more than being CRAZY non-stop busy since filming wrapped, I put off writing this post because I didn't want to own up to my indiscretions to all of you. I just felt so guilty!
Any of that sound familiar to you? You try to change your eating habits...you're on fire, doing great! Then you have one cheat meal. Rather than treating that meal like a rare, much deserved treat, you feel guilty for not being perfect. You can't drop that it happened. Later that day a temptation is placed before you. You already messed up once today, right? Might as well cheat again, right? Make a day of it then, yeah? Then the next day you feel so guilty about your over indulgence you just kind of...give up.
I think that situation happens to a lot of people. It's a vicious cycle. It is why "diets" don't work. It has to become a lifestyle change. It has to become a part of you. You have to find a balance between eating healthy and not feeling cheated.
So there you have it. The 30 days are done-zo! Now what? What do I do now that the 30 days are up? What have I learned? How do I feel? Am I going to stay Paleo? How did my body feel about me eating gluten/dairy/sugar again? How will I find that balance between eating healthy and allowing myself cheat meals...without the guilt? Have no fear, all those questions and more shall be answered in my next post! I'll tell all! Until tomorrow, have a wonderful day!